Ah, the ups and downs (pun intended) of riding an elevator. I’ve ranted about long lines and commuting in the city. Now let’s talk about the types of people you encounter in the elevator.

1. The time-taker

I’m late, and you’re strolling towards the elevator like you’re enjoying a walk on the beach. And that’s a problem. Perhaps if you want to play the game of “how much time can I kill while simultaneously inconveniencing others” you can kindly catch the next one. Also, don’t run from a block away to stop the elevator that has tried to close it’s door several times already.

2. The Pusher and shover
The elevator is already packed, but there’s that one person who will insist on jamming themselves in,  no matter how uncomfortable it is for everyone else. But hey, this isn’t a 5 star hotel, it’s an elevator. I would just like to feel like a person and not a sardine, and to be able to breathe. Is that too much to ask? And if we get stuck, I will hate you forever.

3. Clueless
They push the wrong buttons. They get off on floors that they didn’t intend to and then stumble back on the elevator as if they were in a corn Maze with instructions in Russian.  Get off your phone, LOOK at the floor options, and pay attention to where you are walking.  Thank you.

4. The loud one
In a confined space, there’s no need to speak in a voice that is louder than normal. Please don’t shout. There’s nothing more aggravating than hearing a conversation I don’t care about echo deep into my ear drums. Inside the elevator voices, please!

5. The chatter
I hate to be unfriendly, but there are some scenarios in which I simply do not want to be bothered.  Among them are during an intense episode of Dr.  Phil. Also in the elevator.  It’s a short (God willing) ride to my destination.  So don’t feel the need to make small talk about my shoes,  the weather, the fact that you can’t believe it’s only Tuesday.  OK,  maybe I’m being a little harsh here. Of all the 5, this is the most tolerable.

There you have it. Let’s evaluate our elevating and make our rides as pleasant as possible.