There is something I need to get off my chest. A lot of times we hear the word “bullying” and we think of the big, mean football player shoving kids into lockers in your high school hallway. But bullying happens everywhere. It is not just between young people. It is not so black and white as you may think. It happens on Facebook, Twitter, the workplace, relationships whether they be husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, parent/child, even friends.
At the risk of sounding old, my fear is for young people of today. Despite what we all know SHOULD be the way people think, that what really matters is on the inside, that you are unique and you should embrace it, oftentimes it is not the case today. I have witnessed firsthand people being put down by their looks–by adults, between people online.
Not to mention in pop culture. It’s in song lyrics. You have to be pretty. No, scratch that. You have to live up to a certain standard of beauty, and if you don’t, you’re lesser than those who do. This is not something new. But after all that has gone on in this country–young people committing suicide, becoming depressed, etc, it’s something that should diminish. With this superficial message being broadcast all over television, the radio, magazines, and on Facebook and the Twittersphere, I am truly worried about people struggling with the feeling that they are somehow not good enough if they don’t meet the ridiculous standard set by the media.
I was a teenager once. I was insecure. Throughout middle and high school, I had acne as many young people do. I hated it. I felt as though it was a horrible flaw that was being displayed on my face for the world to see. I worried people would think I was dirty even though I washed my face twice a day, and took hygiene very seriously. The truth is that sometimes acne is just genetic. Some people are blessed with clear, smooth skin, others are not. We all have things about ourselves we don’t necessarily like, but the idea is not to change these things to please others, it’s to learn to love and accept them as part of you. And to surround yourself with people who will do the same.
At 24, I still have days when I look in the mirror and am frustrated. My hair won’t do what I want it to do. My nose seems to stick out in that picture. My chin is larger than some other chins. But you know what, this is me. And as my mother said, these features do not make me less attractive, they give me character.
And that’s what I want to say to young people. I am by no means an expert, I am still learning every day. Do not ever let someone make you feel ugly or belittle you for how you look. You don’t need to change yourself just so that a certain girl or guy will like you or pay you attention. You don’t want someone like that. You want someone who loves and accepts you for the way you are, because you deserve it. And those people ARE out there. I promise. As cheesy as it may sound, you are beautiful in your OWN UNIQUE WAY. The world is plastered with an ideal image that people are expected to live up to. You could spend your time striving to look just like that, doing everything you can to appeal to others, but what’s left underneath?
Embrace your flaws. Don’t even look at them as flaws. Look at them as traits unique to you. Love what you have and don’t be afraid of people that put you down. And don’t let people in your life who tell you any differently, because there are people that love and accept you for what you are. And that’s the most beautiful thing of all.
Reblogged this on Writings of a Mrs and commented:
A real and honest look at the pressures of beauty on our young ‘ish’ people.
thank you for sharing this, I feel a majority needs to read this
You are beautiful! I was a little freckle face red head with glasses…haha, I can laugh now. Your chin is adorable and I am sure passed on from many generations as was my red hair and freckles. Love yourself, you are beautiful.
Well said! The sad thing is seeing young women go ‘under the knife’ to correct their perceived imperfections. I have mentioned these issues a time or two on my blog as well.
The other thing I would encourage the younger generation to do is respect yourself. This will have an immediate impact on how you are treated…believe it or not.
And we need a little kindness in this world for every generation.
As a father of two beutiful daughters, I hope they have someone like you in their life that tells them to be them and not someone else. You know kids, they don’t take it from dad or mom as easily as they will from someone else. Thank you and God bless.
I am so sorry you are having to go threw this. I thank you are very attractive. I am also sorry to say that some people or just like that; I am 67 years old and I am still over weight. No matter how hard I have tried I just can not seem to get it off or keep it off. I have been made fun of all my life and all I can say is that you have to just love your self. I have a beautiful wife who has loved me and put up with me for 48 years so yes there is some one out there who will love you for you just being you.
Also remember God did not make no junk and He loves you no matter what.
God bless you and have a wonderful week, keep your chin up and keep that beautiful smile. Jim.
I’ve put myself down for a long time and I was a really shy girl when I was younger. I’m still shy, but I’m not as I was before. I didn’t want to be noticed and just want to be at myself and at the same moment, I wanted to have friends and was lonely deep inside. After 3 years living like this and being closed against everybody, even my boyfriend (my ex now), I became really depressed. My boyfriend broke up with me and I needed someone around me, but didn’t have anybody. Instead of being more open so I could become the person I actually wanted to be, I only made it worser and didn’t talk with anybody about it. I thought nobody liked me and nobody would care if I just would die in silence. I hated myself and wanted to die. I’ve been depressed for a year and now I use poetry to express myself. I write a lot when I fall back at my depression.
Now I can be myself. I post my poetry on my blog on wordpress.
Thank you for writing this blog about this statement. 🙂
God bless you!
(I’m sorry my English is really bad. I’m Dutch.)
well said …..and i guess if someone says you have a ” big , small, fat, thin, ” any thing…that’s just their opinion…. I know im not ” pretty ” . But i still ended up with a gorgeous wife and 2 cracking Boys…..
Be yourself, what ever that is, be ” happy in your skin” and hope you find the one that likes you for it
Exactly what I was going to say ! What people think of you is really just an opinion. Yet we often come to this realization much later in life (as have I) when goals and aspirations take center stage and we get acquainted with the inner more than the one in the mirror. Thanks Megan for this piece, and i sincerely hope many will read this and take action, embrace who they are and stop worrying about what other think and focus on their life (you know…that thing we only have one of!) and how we want to live it
You radiate beauty inside and it shows on the outside and that is what it is all about. I stopped to look at what you had to say because your picture jumped out at me in a good way. Stay as beautiful as you are.
A relevant post – and it’s a sad reflection on society that so much emphasis is placed on beauty that is literally only skin deep – which we all know doesn’t last – no matter how much surgery you have.
My first question, if I was a YOUNG guy, is how good of a kisser you are.
If people cant accept the shape of your body, they are supremecists. An example of a supremecist is a Nazi. Acceptance of supremacy leads to cutting, drinking, drugs, self-hate.
I love your chin. Its part of your beautiful face. Actresses, also, have augmented features… like Julia Roberts. That girl smiles like a cheshire cat. Its funny, and I bet everyone has a way about them that turns others on to positivity, live, love, comfort, even sensuality. Your attitude is mega sexy… but more… incredibly intelligent!
Great post 🙂
I am just a passenger in this body, the real me is inside it, for now………….
I think you are very beautiful! 🙂
i think you’re beautiful! i have a rather small chin which i absolutely HATE. People always seem to want what they can’t have instead of embracing what they already do have. Be proud of who you are 🙂
Flaws are my favorite parts of people. they’re real. Nature makes no mistakes and neither do the Fates. Thanks for this one!
I won’t say anything as trite as “you have nothing to be self-conscious about.” However, you (and everyone else, for that matter) are beautiful the way you are!
Bravo for a courageous and epic post! Following! 🙂
King Pollux ~ Adam Kristofer Walkingstick King
I wish you had written this 4-5 years ago. Hmmm… if you’d done that, I’d wish I had a time machine.
Anyways, I really like this. Everybody should read this.
ALL your features make you distinctive and unique – and there is nothing wrong with that!
Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your site
is magnificent, let alone the content!
well i have a long chin…hated my whole life.knocks my confidence on nights out and meeting new people..but hey…u know what?
ive always attracted men in a large group of girls ,girls much prettier than me.and u know why?
because i was approachable and had more personality than all the other girls put together.so thankyou for this post x
This was beautiful.
And something I needed to hear as i was made fun of because of my chin for most of my school years gradually building anxiety and insecurity around ANYONE else
Thank you thank you thank you for posting this.
I’m not perfect myself but it looks like you have the kind of dental plaque problems that enlarge your nose and lengthen your chin.
Your chin should be hard and healthy, not long and squishy. Brush and floss and that will make your entire face look better and more appropriate.