Who’s to blame for infidelity?

I know I haven’t written for a while, but hopefully now I will have some more time to do so. I’ve recently been watching a lot of Dr. Phil shows and it has given me inspiration for topics to write about. I just watched this one on infidelity, and there were a group of “other women” on the show. They were the single women who had affairs with married men, and one of them even wrote a book. Basically, they were making themselves out to be victims and saying that the situation causes THEM pain too, and that everyone looks at them badly. They kept saying “What about the husband, isn’t it his fault? It prompted a lot of responses from the audience and from viewers after the show.

I just feel like venting offering my opinion. I think these women are ridiculous. I can’t believe they have the nerve to sit up there and say that it’s not their fault because THEY didn’t pursue the men. They say the blame is on the men because the MEN are the ones that cheat on their wives. The MEN are the ones who have taken vows and made the commitment. But guess what? Does that mean you do not have the capability of saying “no”?

It drives me insane how often people make excuses for their ridiculous behavior, and they come in all ages!

“He was the one that was calling me, so shouldn’t that be his fault.”

How about not answering the phone?

And then they had the nerve to say that there are behaviors wives can change that will stop their men from cheating. Maybe they aren’t putting out enough? Maybe they don’t dress nice? Maybe they’ve had kids and gained weight? These women were saying that wives can sometimes make it so the men don’t cheat.

It really makes me mad. Now, this is just the opinion of a 22-year old who still has a lot to experience in the world, but men, if you want to be with a lot of women, DON’T MAKE A COMMITMENT. And women, have some self-respect and some respect for a woman who’s MARRIED HUSBAND YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH and say NO! If you let a guy who wants to cheat with you, cheat with you, he’s GOING to do it. It’s (kind of) like giving drugs to an addict, but it’s the addicts fault because THEY were the ones who sought out the drugs.

Give me a break. It’s that simple, and I think these women should be called out for each and every excuse they make.

I’m curious, what do you guys think of this debate? Is there too much blame put on these women in society? Or are they just as much to blame for infidelity as the cheating men?  Leave me a comment and share your thoughts!

*Disclaimer: I know that there are women who have affairs too, but the particular episode I saw focused on cheating men.


  1. Women! They so crazy!

    Also, I agree that people are always looking to blame their faults and indiscretions on other people. Just because those people are at fault too doesn’t mean that you are innocent, or much less should actually act a victim.

  2. The fault should be attributed to both the cheater (man or woman) and the person with whom they are cheating . Ultimately its hard to assign blame to just one person after all it generally requires at least two people to preform the horizontal tango. Since it does require that both the cheater and the person with whom the afore mentioned cheater is engaging in relations with, then we must consider that it is impossible for either party to be considered a victim.

    As to the idea that wives can make changes to stop their husbands from cheating this concept is fairly ridiculous. Granted their view may have some merit if wife has become super crazy and filled the house with a plethora of cats, or become obsessed with a famous person( perhaps a “popular” asian singer), making herself emotionally unavailable. However, such circumstances are quite rare and the idea that wives should be more sexually active to keep there husbands from going astray seems more then a little archaic. Its my opinion that if a man or a woman is in love with their partner they should be able to resist their biological drive to betray familiarities with other people. Perhaps my thoughts on this matter are completely off base, after all I’ve become fairly well known for my ability to completely repress all sexual urges even whilst being flirted with by attractive women; but it seem to me that wives should not be expected to let there husbands flop around on top of them just to keep their marriage “strong. Really if an increase in sexual activity is required to keep a married couple together then I think that the has lost its love and therefore no amount of sex can keep it together (unles of course you were to have sex 24/7 stopping only to eat and go to the bathroom since they it would be impossible to find the time required to cultivate an extramarital relationship).
    Thus the Dingo has spoken

  3. ladies use your womanly instincts on how an affair will affect your relationship with your husband, boyfriend or the families involved BEFORE you have the affair. In other words we all have a big brain that god gave us to use. It would best be served if all of woman and mankind would put it to good use..

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